Never Say Never
by Samandrielwasgood
Summary: It Was all his Fault. The one he loved was dying, because of a stupid mistake  But America still doesn't want to let go.   Song fic to Never Say Never by the Fray


A/n This is a fanfiction to the song Never Say Never by The Fray, not Justin Bieber

Some things, we don't talk about. Would rather do without. And just hold the smile.

Beep... beep...beep...beep...

It started to get slower and slower, the heart beat. It was pretty much over. My love, falling farther and farther from me.

I clenched his hand as It was all coming clear on what exactly has happened that night.

* * *

><p>"America! Are you ready? We're running late!" England shouted. I was in my bedroom, finishing getting dressed. Tonight was our annual world meeting that we held at my place. Being me, I was pretty excited to have all of my friends come over, also, i guess those people I didn't like very well. This was also a big night for me, I decided to have England stay at my house insted of having him stay at a hotel. Thats right, at this time i was fighting with myself on whether to tell him how I felt or not.<p>

"yeah, hold on! I just have to tie my tie." I yelled loud enough for him to hear me. I remember hearing a sigh from the other side of the door. "Can't you just tie it in the car you idiot! We only have 10 minutes to get to the meeting!"

"Whatever!" I opened the door to my room and started to look for my shoes. Damn they loved to hide on me. Near the shelf? no. By the Couch? ...no...goddamnit!

"Where the hell are my shoes!"

England rolled his eyes " geez, its like you didn't age a day, they're right next to the door where you left them when we got here, grow some eyes."

I mocked him as i playfully mimicked his mouth.  
>He laughed "not a single day."<p>

"what is that supposed to mean, tea lover?" I stuck out my tongue

" You're still a little kid, even if you look like a bratty teenager."

I ignored that last comment and put my shoes on. England, being such a "gentleman" opened the door so i could walk through. I strolled along my long driveway to pick which of my many cars i wanted to drive in. hmm, definitely not my truck. Not my minivan, I'm not really into those cars as much as i was before.

I finally decided which car to use, my mustang. To that day, that car was always my best friend. Funny how things as simple as that can change so easily. Everything can change in a day, even an hour.

I unlocked my car and we got inside. I was pumped, and scared. Pumped, because i was ready to tell England that i love him, scared...for the same reason. I buckled my seat belt, probably the smartest thing I could have done that night. I glanced over to England, he didn't put his on.

"England! dude, put your seat belt on!"

"Why, I don't need one." Yes he did.

"but.."

"Just drop it America and drive, you don't need to worry about me. We're going to be late anyway, we don't want to be later than we already would have been. "

"ok..." I put the key in ignition, and started my baby up.

I slowly pulled out of the drive way, and tried to remember exactly where this meeting was going to be. I decided to turn left, since turning right would lead to...I don't exactly remeber.

I was keeping a steady speed, like any dignified driver would have. I was 19, not 5.

it was awkward on the drive, I didn't exactly know what to say.

I always have so much to say, but never at the right time.

"so..Iggy"

"Don't call me that."

I laughed "sorry, England, What do you think we're gunna talk 'bout tonight?"

"I'm not sure, probably the usual problems that I usually don't care about."

I loved how grumpy England always was. Barely anything could make him happy.

"I know I sound stupid, but where was the meeting again?" I sighed.

"The World meeting place, you know, the one hidden in New York?"

"ooooooooh! dude, i totally knew that!" I hardly knew where it was, but i had an idea. Doesn't exactly matter now, I suppose.

I drove for a little while after that, with another long silence.

"I have a question England." I decided that the car trip was awkward already, so why not make it more awkward!

"What do you want now?" He groaned.

"You and France seem to fight less often lately, you two...you know...together?"

England froze, "no...why?"

"Just wondering."  
>"You cant just wonder about things like that! You must have a reason!"<p>

"I Don't know! I just felt like asking" I yelled. At least I think I yelled, still fuzzy on this part.

"So you just feel like asking me personally questions like that? And i would never date that frog."

"oh. well, do you want to date anyone? Anyone at all?"

"Well, yes." He was blushing.

"who! dude, you can tell me, I can keep a secret!"

"well...you..."

My eyes were wide open.

He...liked me? I couldn't Believe it!

"Cool! we're a thing now! I don't care if you don't want to"

" I love how I don't have a say in this you wanker, don't go supposing things like that!  
>"well, you said you wanted to date me! cuz, babe, I love you, and I just wanted to see you admit it too." I looked at him and smiled.<p>

"this is going to fast idiot! And keep your eyes on the road, wanker"

"yeah yeah, whatever. So...what do you say?"

"I guess we could try...?"

"YAYY! well, this is going so good! That's the whole reason i wanted you to sleep over!" I laughed and smiled at England again."

_Falling in and out of love_

_Ashamed and proud of_

_Together all the while_

"Idiot! Keep your eyes on the road! but...I guess I'm glad to..."

"I'm so happy." I leaned my head on the back of my seat.

"WATCH OUT! THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!" England screeched.

"Huh?..HOLY SHIT!" I saw a car parked in the middle of the road and bashed my foot on the breaks. I lunged into the seat belt, and it was blank after that.

When I woke up, I was sitting in a hospital bed. There was a nurse next to me. "Glad you're awake. You were in a terrible car crash, but it's a miracle that you managed to survive without a scratch! You can leave when you're ready, we have all your papers signed and everything."

I quickly sat up "Wait, where's England! Is he ok!"

Her smile faded "I'm sorry, He isn't exactly going well. We're trying our hardest to keep him with us. he must have fallen out of the car during the crash."

I got up out of the bed. "Where is he!"

"I'm so sorry, but no one can visit him except family."

"tell me now. Where is he. I need to know!"

I didn't want to never see him again

_You can never say never_

_While we don't know when_

_But time and time again_

_Younger now than we were before_

"are you family young man?" She asked, grimly

"yes!"

"how are you related to him?"

"Hes my boyfriend! And I don't care if you won't let me see him. I _am_ going to see him." tears were starting to form in my eyes.  
>"oh... well..I guess I can make an exception. just say you're his...brother"<p>

"thank you! so much! What room is he in?"

"I can bring you there." she grabbed my hand and brought me out the door into room 130.

I ran into the room to see what was going on.

I couldn't look. It was too disturbing and horrifying. He had so many scars, so much blood. There were so many doctors around him, working on him, or some shit.

One of the doctors turned to me. "I'm sorry sir, family only. You have to leave."

"But he's my brother! Please!"

"ok, but You have to sit in the chair over there."

Tears were continuing to flow down my cheeks, "Ok."

I sat down in the chair and started to fiddle with my fingers. I heard the doctors yelling some jibberish that I couldn't understand. At that time, I was trying to adapt to the whole situation.

Minutes went by, but they felt like days.

The doctors sighed " Uh, the brother, We tried what we could, we just need to wait a while to see if he will be fine, you can just hang here or the cafeteria if you want to."

I shot up "ok, thanks you."

they all left, I quickly ran over next to England. I grasped his scratched up hand.

I softly wispered in his ear

"Picture, you're the queen of everything

As far as the eye can see

Under your command

I will be your guardian

When all is crumbling

To steady your hand"

and kissed him on the cheek.

"I love you."

After a while, i was still sitting by his bed side, and waited.

I checked the time on my watch, it was 9:50

The meeting started at 6. we were here for almost 4 hours. England has been like this...for around 4 hours. And It was all my fault. If only I payed attention to what was in front of me, he would be ok. He wouldn't be dying. The beeps would be normal, but instead, they were getting slower.

And that's where I am now. I am slowly losing the one I love.

sooner or later, the beeps got too low. "DOCTORS...SOMEBODY! HE'S DYING! HES ABOUT TO DIE!"

I'm suspecting, since my voice is loud, they ran in. "what's wrong! oh dear!" one of them said "quick! Get the AED! We need to get this man to live! His heart is stopping"

I was in hysterics. Not now. They can't take him away!

the doctors we're rushing and using that...shock thingy

"excuse me mister, but can you please leave?"  
>"No! I'm not leaving his side!"<p>

"please, you don't understand." he said calmly.

"no. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! just let my stay by his side! At least until...he..."

"just don't be in the way"

I was sobbing, why was god doing this to me.

The doctors kept hitting him with that shock thing. But it wasn't working

I was going to lose him.

I kept his hand in mine, squeezing it tighter.

After several failed attempts, the beeps stopped.

England, my love, was dead.

the doctors threw the machine on the counter, and put their heads down.

"We tried the best we could do kid, I'm sorry, but he couldn't make it."

No...

"Why Damnnit! Shit, just fuck it all" I screeched as the doctors left the room.

I Fell to my knees, letting go of England's hand.

"I'm so sorry, It's all my fault"

I continued to cry, I just couldn't take it.

But as my hopes were all crushed into tiny pieces, I heard a faint voice, followed by a beep.

"Don't Let me go, don't let me go." England whispered

I shot up.

He was alive...

"England? HOLY SHIT ENGLAND YOU'RE ALIVE!"

"idiot..." he coughed.

"Oh my god!"

I don't care if this hurt him, well I do, but I'm just too happy

I leaned down and planted my lips on his chapped ones.

The doctors ran in on the middle of our kiss and stood there in shock.

I pulled up, and looked at them.

"He's alive! Can you believe it!"

England slowly stood up and coughed again.

I laughed and pressed out lips together again.

However, I continued to cry

Not because I was sad.

But because I wasn't going to lose England.

Now I had hope.

A/N I cried while writing this, and sorry its so short -_-

Well, Review

I like Reviews :D


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